Lucas was standing in front of a group of financial investors getting ready to pitch his BIG IDEA.
“At my company, Sansaire, we have created an incredible product that will revolutionize the cooking industry. We are proud to bring it to you here and show you how it works.”
Lucas was one of my clients and this was his statement of purpose to his audience. Powerful, isn’t it? Or is it? Here is another version:
“My name is Lucas and I am the CEO of Sansaire and I have been frustrated with the way I cook. My frustration is what inspired me to create this product and with the help of my team I am presenting to you now an opportunity to revolutionize the way the cooking industry.”
As you can see the only difference between these two statements is the pronoun, “I” vs. “WE” and the resulting story that the “I” pronoun creates.
Many times while you are listening to speakers, you will hear them use “WE” very often when, in fact, they mean ”I”.
There are many reasons for this. First, it is because this is how “WE” are trained. The corporate industry has taught us that we should use the pronoun “WE” because it is more inclusive, where the pronoun “I” is more selfish. We may have also learned that “WE” is safer and less confrontational. But when it comes to stories, “WE” is detrimental.
There are 3 reasons why “WE” does not create these elements.
- “WE” does not have a story.
Think of any story that you can tell and try to use the word “WE” in it and you will quickly find it is nearly impossible to do. While “WE” can play games together, “WE” can go places together, “WE” cannot have emotion as a single unit.
In fact, stories rarely have plurals. There is always a single character, or group of characters who go on an adventure and come back different than when they started.
- “WE” is defensive.
Pretend that you are in a company and you have a problem. Someone says, “We don’t do this kind of thing” or “We can handle this for you”. Who is “WE”? Can “WE” be focused on, accounted for? No! “WE” is used as a way to create distance between customers and managers. This is fine if you want to create distance between yourself and your audience. However, onstage and in the business world, where the purpose of speaking is building connections, “WE” simply does not fit.
- “WE” avoids connection and accountability.
I’ve already alluded to the lack of accountability in “WE”, but let’s take it a step farther.
No company hires an individual, an individual hires an individual. No company prepares a presentation. An individual or a member of a team prepares a presentation.
When you say “I”, you become the owner of that presentation, the author. You create an emotional connection to that presentation. Of course you cannot say “I did it all.” That would not be true. So the “I” forces you to become accountable for owning your part of the presentation and also gives you again an opportunity to connect to the story behind your own experience. That is the power of “I”.
Even big companies realize now that “I” is more important.
Next time you are in home depot go up to one of the associates. Ask them, “Where can I find nails?”
I did it several years ago, and the answer I received astounded me. Michael, the associate, said to me, “I believe I have it in aisle 3.”
Immediately the thought struck me. “’YOU’ have it in aisle 3? Do “YOU” own Home Depot?”
So I asked him about it and he said that it was the way the company trains them to respond to customer requests. Why? Because, “I” creates connection to the product and the company, accountability to the customer, and allows the associate to share his experience with the product. That is why the use of “I” is essential to effective communication.
To be sure, “WE” still has many uses as a pronoun. Especially when you are summarizing, or delivering data that itself does not have any emotional context. For instance “WE built this company.” That makes sense since “YOU” did not. “YOU” cannot build an entire company by yourself.
“The members of my department worked together to create this product.” There is no story, no emotional involvement, so “WE” is acceptable.
However, if you want to make a connection to your audience, if you want to communicate your point effectively, you must use “I”. Make it personal.
“We have worked together to create this company and I am proud to present this product to you today.”
This statement claims accountability. It establishes the connection to your audience that brings about individual story that drives home the message.
In summary, if you would like to tell powerful stories that engage the hearts and minds of the audience avoid “WE”, unless you are the Queen of England, and use “I” as the key to speaking with power.
Speak with Power,
Leo Novsky
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